We can be fabulous and achieve amazing things alone! I have a bad habit of not giving myself enough credit for what I HAVE done. Steve Harvey has wonderful motivational speeches. One of them was “making a list of 300 Goals that you want to achieve and make it as big as you can dream”. I started mine and categorized them into Career and Business goals, Income goals, Personal goals, Now goals and so on. My favorite thing to do is making lists, and having organization things that make me feel like I have my life in order. In case you’re wondering, I do not have my life in order. Baring that in mind, I am using this platform to chase all my ducks into a row and hopefully help others starting over in their lives and give yall some hope and idea for your futures.
My list of Achievements since I’ve moved here as of Nov 2023
- Things I have accomplished since 12/8/22
- 1. Packed a bag and xmas stuff & Left (12/8/2022)
- 2. Arranged flight (12/8/2022)
- 3. Got important things from house (12/10/2022)
- 4. Flew from Tx to MI with daughter (12/12/22)
- 5. Changed phone to dads plan (12/2022)
- 6. Unsubcribed to emails for husband on my account (12/13/2022)
- 7. Canceled joint accounts (hulu, Disney, ect) (12/13/2022)
- 8. Changed address for both of us. Got rid of po box (12/13/2022)
- 9. Friends visited for spring break from Tx (3/24/2023)
- 10. Got a job/changed jobs (1/9/2023) (4/2/2023)
- 11. Drove to Ann Arbor for work training (4/29/2023)
- 12. Daughter fractured her arm (4/2023)
- 13. New Dr for Daughter (3/2023)
- 14. Applied to housing (2/19/2023)
- 15. Sought weekly counceling (1/2023)
- 16. Unfriended a friend for undue stress YES this happens with people you least expect. DO NOT feel bad for protecting whats left of your sanity (4/11/2023)
- 17. Joined community center (12/2023)
- 18. Started working out with Jess (1/2023)
- 19. Did our taxes (1/2023)
- 20. Bought a vehicle (3/2023)
- 21. Changed cosmetology license to MI (12/19/2022) received (3/25/2023)
- 22. Got clothes for us (12/2023)
- 23. Enrolled daughter into school (12/2023)
- 24. Doing after school activities (12/2022)
- 25. Started blog account (5/2023)
- 26. Paid off EXP & changed to referral partner program (8/25/2023)
- 27. Started prepaid credit card to build credit (6/2023) !
- 28. Got our things from Tx (5/16/2023)
- 29. Watched Older daughter graduate in Dallas (5/20/2023)
- 30. Drove across country with uhaul truck alone (5/21/2023)
- 31. Unloaded truck with Jess to storage (5/22/2023)
- 32. Started doing yoga with Jess (8/2023)
- 33. Going to chiropractor (8/2023)
- 34. Did 10 day mental health outpatient hospitalization program (7/19/2023-8/1/2023)
- 35. Setting monthly goals (12/2022)
- 36. Picking up things for new housing to put in storage (7/2023 to present)
- 37. Gardening & dehydrating (7/2023-10/2023)
- 38. Paid whole summer daycare bill in full (6/2023)
- 39. Back to school things (8/22/2023)
- 40. Took kids to Frankenmuth waterpark (9/4/2023)
- 41. Truck wouldn’t come out of park, not fixable, bought new SUV from Ford dealership (9/6/2023)
- 42. Started extracts (vanilla, mints, herbs) (9/2023)
- 43. Started divorce process thru courthouse (10/16/2023)
- 44. Mailed husband his paperwork (10/16/2023)
- 45. Got supena for Nov 6th (10/16/2023)
- 46. Now Jan 8th. (10/19/23)
- 47. Submitted next divorce paperwork (10/23/23) Divorce finalized 5/31/24.
- 48. Started mortgage assessment (11/2/2023)
- 49. Got assessment answer. 6 month time frame (March 2024) 640 credit score minimum. 1% down with roughly $3k down-payment.
- 50. Met with local EXP agent and got property list for minimum of 1 acre 3bd 2 bath.
- 51. Put rbfcu debit card in my tips holder to save $$ (11/14/23)
- 52. Went to friend of the court to figure out what paperwork they need for custody and such. Nov 30th hearing
- 53. Got a promotion and raise (10/2023)
- 54. Monthly goal setting 12/2022-present
- 55. Sent birthday and xmas gifts to stepson
- 56. Did 99% of xmas shopping by 11/3/2023
- 57. Restarted Real Estate networking 11/13/2023
- 58. Sent in friend of the court custody and support paperwork (11/20/23)
- 59. Sent out next paperwork to husband for the divorce (Default paper) (11/20/23)
- 60. Finished all xmas shopping (11/20/23)
My goals for this year is to gain traction from last year. This last 12 months has been about healing and finding hope. I’m in the middle of a divorce and awaiting for the sentencing of my husband who is looking at a significant amount of time in prison. I won’t go into the specifics, however it has taken me a 10 day outpatient hospitalization program, weekly therapy, and consistent conversations with friends and family to understand what this has done to my family and to me. I worked on my mental health all year as I untangled what I thought our life was and what I left behind. PTSD is real. Panic/Anxiety disorder is REAL. You don’t have to be a war vet to experience it. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD, Anxiety and Insomnia because of the stress. I ended up being admitted to the hospital for low potassium July 2023. It was there that they convinced me that my mental health was worth taking a hiatus from work to attend this program. The information and sessions were worth every minute of being there. I suggest it to anyone who is having a hard time digesting what’s happening around them. It could very well be the difference between life and death. When you are trapped in fight or flight your brain literally no longer works right. Click here for more info on what happens to your brain when in constant stress. Click here to see the affects on your body after long periods of stress or trauma. These are scientifically proven and known causes of stress and trauma. It is NOT signs of weakness, overreacting, causing drama, or anything else that’s told to you in an attempt to shut you down from processing it. With that in mind, writing a list of goals will help give you something to look forward to. As I wrote these goals, I looked forward to who I wanted to be once the dust settles.
So I came up with: “In a Perfect World” Goals
I want to be the homesteader who has animals, buys her own house, has 1 solid career and hobbies, enjoys trips with my kids, visits family and friends out of state, eats well and does yoga regularly… ect. In a perfect world I am happy and content with my life and they are reachable goals that I can aspire to. That way, one day when I wake up, I will wake up in a house I bought, feeding animals at the crack of dawn, enjoying the life I created by design, rather than waking up to whatever life threw at me while I was waiting to heal from my trauma. This years goals are:
List of Goals: 12 month year ( Jan 2024)
- Get through husbands trial (Jan) – Mistrial. Must do again.
- Get Apartment for now
- Start my Real Estate career in Michigan/ Referral business in Tx
- Continue doing Hair until I am able to bow out with a stable income
- Launch blog and monetize
- Fitness on a regular schedule
- 80/20 Plant based diet
- Big garden to do preserves and canning (spring 2024)
- Visit friends & family out of state and do trips with younger daughter (summer 2024)
- Take over stock account and invest more
- Finalize divorce May 31st 2024
- Learn how to make Sourdough bread & cook more things
- Decorate my new space in Farmhouse decor
One the first things I did was seek therapy so I COULD process what was going on in my life. In my opinion (and the general consensus of most studies) this is a necessary step to healing and sorting out fiction from facts. Trust me, your brain will have a hard time with this at first and maybe for months or even years. That’s why its called a process. It’s also known as GRIEVING. These stages are not timed nor are they linear. You are allowed to take however much time you need and may revisit stages as you heal. Feeling uncomfortable emotions is part of this awful process and absolutely necessary. So if you find that you are distracting yourself with projects, work, kids, and so forth, you will not fully heal. However at the same time, if you are doing nothing but thinking about the tragedy, that will also keep you stressed out. If you are feeling hopeless or like you can’t get through the day without crying or hoping that the reality is false, you would benefit from seeking therapy to help thru these stages. I did a LOT of ruminating on what happened and what I didn’t know. I felt guilty for not seeing or catching things. I felt horrible for trusting someone that I learned couldn’t be trusted in a very big way. I still have a hard time putting “both” of these people in one body.
I’m rounding into the final stages of grief (I hope) and acceptance has been the hardest and most peaceful stage so far. I have accepted the reality that my husband will not be my forever person, I started the divorce last month (October 2023) and it will be finalized May of 2024. From December 8th 2022 to present (November 20th 2023) I have made a list 60 items long that I have done and accomplished since I left. It started off as a list of things I could check off my to do list and keep track of, because my working memory was shot. It developed into this beautiful list of how amazing I had been doing to move forward despite being massively depressed and broken.
Tracking monthly goals has been really enriching for me as well. I have a White Board that I picked up at a thrift shop and started writing 3-5 goals per category for the month. I was doing that before I left and had done that for years. So in my goals I have “Career & Business”, “Personal”, “Self” and “Family”. The 300 list is still being worked on but so far I have a lot items.
(The Steve Harvey) 300 Goals List (mine are categorized) (also not at 300…its hard!)
Career and Business
- Restart Real Estate
- Find a coach who understands ADHD and Trauma
- Begin networking & making passive money
- Learn contracts in RE, math, ins and outs of commercial/residential
- Learn social media and do video on Youtube channel
- Begin credit building
- Buy 1st property (primary)
- Start research on property management business
- Buy apartment complexes or duplexes
- Learn how to do section 8/ HUD housing
- Passive referral income to separate account
- Hire & start a RE team
- Buying Hotels
- Register DBA for taxes/business ventures
- Hold majority of investments in both types (apts & hotels)
- Launch Blog
- Redirect into a “Steve Harvey” type blog- talking about my experiences and being grateful/Helpful
- Passive income to replace husbands help with our daughter
- Volunteer work helping women like myself
- Lean into google calendar to organize my life
- Keep all income streams in separate bank accounts
- Have a RE car and everyday car (this will help with taxes and miles put on the car)
- Buy vacation houses in the South to do RE during winter in the North
- Travel often for seminars and growth
- Update living will to make sure the kids have money
- Teach them both how to take over
- Get them both licensed to create passive income
- Co-own investments with both daughters
- Protect what I have worked for legally
- DO NOT have a legal business partner ever (Not to be confused with network partners)
300 Goal list: Personal & Health
- Fitness classes weekly
- Yoga practice at studio
- 80/20 plant based
- Audiobooks for growth and enjoyment
- Therapy continued indefinitely
- Back down to 145lbs or healthy/fit
- Learn how to do my hair, nails, skin care
- Decorate my space in Farmhouse
- Have a large garden
- Have livestock (chickens & goats)
- Travel to see family and friends
- Travel out of country with the kids
- Girl vacations with friends and sister in laws/mother in law
- Have yoga space in my house
- Save money for home wants
- Canning and Preserving area of pantry
- Learn how to update my house myself
- Have Older daughter and Son in law up to visit often (my treat)
- Have TX friends visit often
- Host holidays at my house
- Have office space in my house
- Backyard entertaining space
- Crafting space
- Have social time/Dinners at my house
- Buy my own little cabin cruiser like my in laws
300 List continued: Monetary
- First 10k in bank
- 50k in savings
- 100k as a RE agent
- 10k passive income
- 50k passive income
- 100k passive income
- Own 5 investment properties
- Owning 10 investment properties
- Owning 50 investment properties
- 10k Stock Market
- 50K Stock Market
- 100k Stock Market
- Muti-million dollar RE Team (MI & Tx) And other states if possible
- 10+ acres of land
- Build subdivision
- Buy multi-family units specifically for HUD housing/Sec 8
- Buy and Run a “ShelterHouse” type facility
- Figure out affiliate marketing for passive income
- Sell eggs, bread, meat chickens, ect
- Make soaps, candles, ect
- Try online store again for passive income
- Blog monetization
- Teach classes
- Write a book and publish
- Youtube channel for RE and another for Blog
- Master Pintrest, IG, TicToc, ect
- Set up kids with their own income and teach how to continue for themselves (also have emergency money for them set aside)
300 Goal List Continued: The Little Things & The Now
- Focus on Salon Goals to increase income
- Save money for the house
- Watch credit score
- Learn Blog layout
- Write content list for Blog and RE
- Study for RE exam (MI)
- Start Networking/ Meet ups
- Learn how to do Hashtags and traffic
- New fb groups for MI
- Figure out what commercial needs are in MI
- Monthly Spa Day
- Get nails done
- Buy nice things for myself and the girls
- Decorate my house
- Buy hobby things
- Go out to eat without feeling guilty
- Buy myself a nice ring
- Fun last minute trips with daughter
- Buy a camper
- Coffee house self dates
- Writing days
- Purging socials until I’m comfortable with audience
- Self dates
- Social time
- Start becoming who I want to be for myself
- Have a library of books in my house
- Salon spot in my house to do hair
- Have nice office space in my house
- My own cricket for making things
- Learn to crochet with daughter
- Making spices, canning, dehydrating, bread, ect
- Watching TV and having wine
- My own hot tub
- Grocery shopping without watching budget
- No debt & pay off current
- Learn couponing again
- Go see my daughters other family up North often
This list is incomplete and will be edited as time goes on to reflect what is actually important to me. The idea behind the lists is to give yourself small and large goals. Some can be checked off pretty quickly and others will take time.
